25th December

Merry X'mas to all. Today's the day that the Lord Jesus Christ is born. Remember all the wonderful things in your life that he's done for you.

The feeling of being back in S'pore is really good. Although I'm tired, I quickly unpacked, prepared my presents & headed for Suae yee's place. Oooh...at least I was of some help to them with the food. Hee!!! I made pizzas. I was famished but had to wait for my relatives to come before we start eating, so I binged on other food instead.

Alas! I can finally start eating those wonderous food (oops! I ate till I was too full). After which I went to Esplanede to meet the Serangoon people. It's really nice to see them coz I midd them much. Yupz! Happy to see him too : ) but I felt weird when Margaret told me he gave her a necklace. Haiz!!! Dun worry abt me, I'm happy for them. There's nothing much I can show anyway...yah I juz smiled throughout but I feel so terrible inside (can't show much in front of them).

She asked me if I still liked him. How am I gonna answer her? If I said 'NO', would that make youfeel better? & if the answer if 'YES', would you feel sad/weird? I dun want you to feel bad or anything, you dun have to. My life still goes on whether he likes me or not. I'll be happy if he is. (It's nt as if I can stop him from being nice to you or you being nice to him?) I'm happy that you're happy on this Christmas babe! Enjoy the prezzies.

Thought of The Day:

Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turm out.

John Wooden

22nd & 23rd December

Why this early entry? Coz I juz finished packing my backpack to leave Bangkok for Singapore in 2 hours time. Okay! I know I skipped 22nd Dec's entry yesterday coz we finished shopping Suan-Lum Night Bazaar at 12am (Thai time) so by the time we reached the room, I was juz admiring my buys, talk to Maresa (my sleeping partner) & pack my buys. Hee hee! Stuff st these night bazaars are dirt cheap.

Basically, 22nd Dec was a day of travelling. From MAG to Big C, then to Rong Khun temple, & finally to Chiangrai Airport. Oh & I have to say the temple we visited is really beautiful. It is designed by the most famous artist in Thailand. FYI, after so many years, the temple is still under construction coz the funds raised are for the sales of his paintings.

When we finally reached Bangkok, all of us were so excited coz of the shopping. Hahaha...it's been a mad shopping day for me.

Dec 23rd:

We went to MBK (Ma Boon Krong), Siam Square & Suan-Lum Night Bazaar today. Another day of mad shopping. Anyway...some cock-ups happened when we wanted to go to Suan-Lum. Thank God that we're all safe though. I'm so happy that I'll be reaching Singapore in a few hours time. I can't wait to meet all of you.

Thought of The Day:

There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience

and that is not learning from experience.

Archibald Mcleish

21st December

Today had been an interesting day! We travelled to Mae Sai in the morning, thinking we'll be going thru the "Blue Gate" to Myanmmar. Due to unforseen circumstances, we didn't go, but went directly to the Golden Triangle. After lunch, we took a ride thru Khong River & reached Laos. There wasn't much for us to do at Laos - many stalls with the same stuff.

Next, we proceeded to the Opium Museum. It's really an eye-opener!!! The myths & legends on the origin of opium, on Kung San, & many more. Saw all things related to opium - pillow, opium pipe, resting mat, weights etc...

Oh! You know what? The tribe with the ladies with the neck rings is called the Padaung Tribe. Now you know ah! Then, the neck rings pushes the ribcage down, it doesn't lengthen the neck. It causes the neck vertebre to be very fragile, so it's very dangerous to take them off. I carried the brass neck rings. No joke man! It's darn heavy. It's really been an enriching day for me :)

After that, we headed back to MAG for dinner. We had BBQ food for dinner. Today, MAG is celebrating for our team - on the competition of the project. After all the eating, there was a video show for us. It's really good; funny, touching & full of pride. P'por touched our hearts. When P'moo said her speech, I couldn't refrain from crying. The way she said abt us - I feel so proud to be part of this team.

Songs were exchanged, people dancing & contacts were also exchanged between the Thai volunteers & us. I will miss them & will always keep these wonderful memories with me.

Thought of The Day:

An intelligent man knows others; a brilliant man knows himself.

Lao Zhi

20th December

We left Ban Yafu this morning. I thought I wouldn't cry, who would hab=ve thought...haiz! Its such sweet sorrow to say goodbye. I started crying when I gave our host one last hug, she bid us a tearful farewell too. As usual, we walked down the hill, had lunch at the noodle shop Ban Jalae, then we proceeded to the hot spring. It's amazing to see a hot spring (1st time), then I boiled some quail's eggs in the hot spring too!

Reached MAG to place our stufff down before we leave for the Chiangrai Night Market at abt 6pm. Wow...the moment we reach, the 6 of us proceeded to the Pizza Company for some yummy food & the best thing is we only paid S$6 for all the food we ate (a damn gd deal man!)

At the night market, we juz walked ard, looked ard - the usual stuff. I was looking for some gifts for my friends - you guys lah! Nothing much for me to buy actually except some personalised keychains which I saw one guy doing. Cheap too! After that, we proceeded to EDISON. The moment we stepped in, haha...cool! 40% discount off Wacoal bras. Cheapo rite? Anyway, I didn't buy any coz didn't really like those bras, although the seamless ones were attractive lah! Hee hee! But you know what? I bought a white Levi's top for abt S$20. I think it's an okay buy lor! Wah! Then later XY & I rushed to collect the keychains coz we were gonna be late to gather at 9pm. Rush like siao...

After all...all is worth the rush. Missed my mummy, ah ma & everyone today. I think I'll only be able to call back home when I reach Bangkok. Haiz!!!

Thought of The Day:

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.

Albert Schweitzer

19th December

Juz woke up! Writing this entry for 19th Dec 04. Yesterady, all of us had the full day to ourselves, we didn't have to work & was supposedly going down to Chiangrai City to get something for our host family. I chose to stay in the village, getting Renzhen & Evan to get stuff for the family. It's really nice & quiet, calm & peaceful when you have the "whole" village to yourself - not all actually juz that fewer people are left in the village so it seems that I own more of the village.

After bathing & packing, I proceeded to Ashley's place for lunch with Lihui, Shihui, Ashley, Huikeng, & Choon Hong. Choon cooked fried rice for us (nt bad!) & we also cooked instant noodles to fill our stomachs. Our afternoon is pretty simple - have a simple lunch together, playing cards & packing up. Late noon, after the rest bathed, they came over to my place to play cards & snack, all this lasted till the rest of the team came back from the city.

I was happy when I saw them back with the things they bought, so excited to give it to them. Everything was good, we talked, no tension (maybe the letter I wrote to her earlier on wouldn't serve it's purpose anymore). We packed the food neatly & gathered our clothes for them. At this pt I'm having mixed feelings - I miss my home & yet I'm gonna miss this home & its surroundings. But life will still move on. After these packings, we changed to our Oracle shirts. We took pictures with our host family & Na-sor too! Then, thinking we wouldn't meet them for dinner, we gave the stuff we bought to them. I could tell that they were happy yet sad. Me too! Without thinking, Na-sor's mum took a ball of white string & tied it round our wrist, with the granny & dad following suit. It's a blessing to us, such that when we leave Ban Yafu, we'll prosper & be safe. I admit I teared, them too! We become part of the family.

Dinner was at the info-centre that we built. Seeing this place bustling with people feels different & I'm so happy that we're having dinner altogether (we withour host family with the rest of the host's family) under the roof that the team have helped built. A feeling of pride & pure happiness, hoping what we have done will definitely help the village.

A dance was specially prepared for us near the "long-bench". I joined in it's fun. The dance steps started with the simple steps, & it gradually advanced to a pt where I juz followed blindly. We engaged them in the "friendship-dance" too! They had fun. After the fire ceased, the dancing stopped, photos were taken. Ha! What pure joy this is.

Coz this was the last night in Ban Yafu. Most wanted a "Ho-ho-ho" session. Juzcards playing, playing 7-up & drinking. P. Surachay & Tonn were drunk, super high. Very funny too! Had to drink Scotch Whiskey - BLEARGH! After all this fun, Huikeng & I went home to find Renzhen & Evan still awake! We talked for a while more before all of us slept.

Now...after this writing, I'll home to get ready to leave. Mixed feelings - I dun like this feeling.

18th December

Today, we only had to work only 2 hours because we were only required to work till 1115. Nothing much left to do, just clearing litter & scraping dried mud off the ground. On the whole, the structure is 100% done except that touch-ups have to be done. The ORACLE logo & SMU logo is up with paint, it looks gorgeous (I painted a few letters of the SMU logo too :) ). I feel so rpoud of the team, in the sense that the before & after look of the work-site is very contrasting & I'm so happy we did it all together. A wonderful grp effort indeed!

Supposedly there was a performance for the team at the village school & lunchhwas also to be held there too, but I think due to mis-communication, nothing happened, thus our day ended with the rest of the time left to our own discretion. So I went to bathe & did some laundry. Soon after, I started labeling names to the stuff I bought & also noted things to buy for some people when I reach Bangkok.

After doing all these barang-barangs, I went over to Maresa's place to have my wrist bandaged. I was also feeling hungry too.Hee hee....went over to XY's place to have a pack of noodles. Thanks ger for cooking for me.

Stayed over a little longer before I went back to help cook dinner. I'm so happy that I can help her cook it coz I truly enjoy doing it. Vivian, PY & YW came over too. Oh yah! Today we found out that the "古天乐" - lookalike is Na-sor's step-bro (no wonder he takes such gd care of her).

Thought of The Day:

Real leaders are ordinary people with extraordinary determination.

Anonymous

17th December

The atmosphere wasn't right - too tensed. Apparently, the whole team knows abt what happened last night & they aren't too pleased. To be frank, I dun like this feeling of high tension amongst the members coz it spoils team's dynamics & I dun like the fact that this YEP have to end with an ugly misunderstanding / mis-communication whatever it is. We juz have to get our priorities right & act like mature adults.

Progress at the work-site is slow & lifeless. There are no happy faces or happy laughters. All I did was juz pouring soil to form the mini-garden, a pretty simple job which took little effort to accomplish. After that, I just sat on the pile of gravel & started writiing my journal; this kept me occupied till lunch.

Lunch was bad. I juz ate a plate of rice with winter-melon soup + vegggies. Not many of the girls went to the 'Long-House' for lunch. As for me, I went to the Village Store as usual for my daily dose of snacks. I noticed XY was very quiet; talked to her, she didn't answer much so I left her alone. Before work started, Lihui, Ashley, XY & I went to the 'Long-Bench' area, walked the path down to see the scenery. It was breath-taking! The flowers were gorgeous too! We took quite a few photos - haha...very funny poses we had!

When work resumed. We had to clear the area again. Then I proceeded to scrap dried mud off the brick-off. It's really fun! Although it's tiring too. Nothing much. Ended work at 4pm, after that I helped with the preparation of the dinner - cut potatoes & veggies, cooked them too - Quite a different experience coz I somehow enjoyed it.

Dinner's fantastic tonight. French fries, preserved fish, fried instant noodles with veggies, all these dishes ensured that I had a full dinner. Then I accompanied Evan to Yanwei's place, stayed for a while, but Yanwei decided not to come to my place (she's afraid of the cats). So we went back & XY, Vivian & PY came. They showed us photos on the lappie & the host family were so happy, especially Na-sor; she saw her pictures & she was so amused, shy & happy. My heart melts seeing their happy faces. After that, we gals lied on the bed to talk; hmmm...really enjoy this coz it's really been a long-time that I did such stuff with my gal pals. Miss you babes in Singapore, you know who you are.

I miss you too! How've you been doing? I know you know how to take care of yourself, so I just hope you're happy with whatever you're doing.

Thought of The Day:

Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you.

Aldous Huxley

16th December

Another entry for 16th December 04 coz again, I came back late. Work for the day was mundane, require little effort & required the architect's views on it, but he went to sleep after lunch so work ended early for the day.

I went to bathe with the rest of my roomies, all of us bathed early (so it wasn't too cold) & some of us helped to prepare dinner since we washed-up early. Cooking is really fun, especially when the food prepared are all good food - eggs, vegggies & french fries. All of us enjoyed the dinner.

As soon as dinner is finished, we went to wash the dishes & when we're back, our host, she started to weave - it was the pouches that the gals reserved. For the past few days & nights, she had to weave until late, when I saw her in the noon, she really looked tired & seeing her weave made me realise how great she is & how impt she is to the family. The family is poor as compared to the other families in Ban Yafu. Her husband doesn't do much except smoke, so I dun feel he contributes lots to the family.

She once said that she treats the 5 of us like family & she'll be very sad when we leave (I think she'll cry). That really touched me alot coz we've only been with her for 2 weeks. I learnt alot from her. The strength she has & how hardworking she is for her family. I'll make it a point to apply to my daily life when I'm back in Singapore. She's a true inspiration.

We had a prayer session at Maresa's place. After what Weipeng said, I felt that the faith I have in GoD isn't there coz although I say that I commit all my worries & burdens unto HIM, I still lead a worrying life which is so contradicting. It daunted to me that I meed to renew my faith in HIM & do what I say. Thankz bro!

Also...I chanced upon a gals gathering at XY's place where most of the gals were telling the co-leader abt how they felt towards the leader. Being at the top is nv wasy coz it's lonely but many dun realise the loneliness that is experienced at the top. But the leader doesn't care what the team thinks coz he being the "common enemy" unites the whole team to work better. This always happen when functioning as an organization / team. It will nv be easy.

After that, upon reaching home, Evan & I had a long talk till abt 2.30am. A very deep & close talk. Our friendship definitely grew & deepened. Thank you Lord for this night.

Thought of The Day:

It is with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

Antoine De Saint-Exupery

15th December

I came back late so I went ahead to sleep without writing my journal. Wednesday is like the previous two working days coz I "created mud" in the morning, & after lunch, I became a rubbish collector. The guys had to dig a trench of abt 0.5m away frm the school so Maresa, XY & I had to clear the path for them.

After that, I carried bricks for the floor & also some decorating purposes. Nothing much actually. A very boring day actually. The last thing I did was just sitting down to scrap off soil frm the bricks before they were 'reused' - the bricks were frm the old structure. Just sitting down with Eejia, we started bitchin' abt the guys in this YEP team, on how immature they were. Hmm...I still think the guys I know & hang-out with (although younger than the ones here) are more sensible & mature.

Before breaking off work, I did some building of the pillars which required twisting & mixing soil with dried wheat, then I found that I unknowingly sprained my left wrist, but dun think it's serious though. After dinner at home, I went to find the medics for some TLC (tender loving care) & finally settled at Maresa's place for Bible study.

Ashley, Eejia, Alan & I did some bible study on the chapter of John (1:1-28), we learnt quite abit frm each other & I'm thankful I met them there so I have someone to share GoD's words with. Hee! Played abit of "Bridge" before we went out to watch shooting stars. Not lucky today though, didn't see any. Haiz!

Thought of The Day:

When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion.

An African proverb

14th December

As usual, today's work is the same as yesterday, but since we're familiar with the work, we were more efficient in it. I continued my job scope as being the wall builder, I didn't last long in it. As this required me to squat for a long period of time, my back just couldn't sustain such movement. I began to feel a sharp pain in my back when I stood up & couldn't squat for a moment. I stopped building the wall & went over to the "mud-creation" area. All I had to do was "stomping"; this is to evenly blend the mixture, but I also carried mud. This lasted me the whole morning before we break for lunch.

Lunch was terrible. Veggies weren't properly cooked, thus I only had rice with soup (too little for me rite? I thought so too), so I went to the village store to get a cup noodles, went over to XY's house for hot water. XY got the veggies for lunch & cooked it longer do I had "cooked" veggies with noodles for lunch. Haha...

After lunch, work resumed & I continued creating mud till we break-off from the work-site at 4pm. Bathing ard this time isn't too cold coz the cold wind haven't started blowing so I was shivering while bathing.

After all 4 of us bathed, we sat down for dinner. Dinner was okay but as usual - salty. Then Evan & I proceeded to XY's place, played a few rounds of "Bridge" before we left for the "long-Bench" to see shooting stars.

Hee hee! I saw 5 shooting stars again & I saw 2 very beautiful ones (being the 1st & 4th shooting star). An incident happened at the "Long-Bench". Pheiyi wanted to climb onto the bench but it gave way so she fell to the ground, & coz she started laughing, the rest followed suit. So funny! I think the impact caused her to be a bit "off" & she walked home like a drunkard. Very funny ma!

Haven't called home for some time. Wonder how's everyone back home. God! I pray that you keep my family safe & also pray that everything's fine back home. I love you & miss my loved ones.

13th December

This morning's entry is for the 13th Dec day. Today's the first day of work in the 2nd week that we're at the Yafu Village. The structure of the information centre have been up so today's work is to create mud with dried wheat. Though this is a less tedious job to do, but it stinks big time (made me feel nausea). This mixture is concocted by pouring 15 buckets of soil, 3 buckets of sand, & 1 pack of cement. After thoroughly mixing it evenly, water is poured, followed by loads of dried wheat. Cool right?

Doing this mixture showed me how precious mud is to this village (you dun wanna waste it by using every scoop you can get frm the floor). Frankly speaking, I never expected myself doing such a dirty errand coz I'm such a clean freak. However, I truly enjoyed this experience & not wasting every minute & every second of it (frm stepping onto the mixture, to creating mud, to using the mud with dried wheat, to building up the walls of the Info centre). This is definitely a one-time experience fun for me.

You know what? Our team was only expected to finish 2 walls but we completed about 5 of them. But I have add that the villagers helped us alot, thus we're so ahead of schedule.Oh yah! The Oracle 2004 logo is up on the wall too. Frm what I thought was shit work to a beautiful wall coz of the skillful smoothing skills of the villagers, the walls with the designs really looked fantabulous. I really feel so happy & have a great 成就感.

So work's done & there's no facilitation session, then Evan & I went to XY's place. Evan slept but a "Bridge session" was started where I was involved. Haha...I had quite a good hand of cards for "Bridge". 4 Aces k? It's really fun & poor Chris Ho (kena whacked by me tonnes of times).

After the "Bridge session", Vivian, Pheiyi, Maresa, Chris Ho & I went to see shooting stars & I saw 5 of them, with the last one being the most beautiful. It's really beautiful & wished you were here to see it too. Beautiful yet short-lived.

Thought of The Day:

A monkey on a tree hurled a coconut at the head of a man. The man picked it up, drank the milk, ate the flesh and made a bowl from the shell.

Thank you for your criticism of me.

A Sufi Tale

12th December

Today's a Sunday! Which means it's a no work day. This morning we had a short facilitation session with the NUS Archaway - that's what they called themselves, they're frm the NUS Architecture Faculty with some HCJC students. A bunch of snobs! During the session, it seems that facilitators frm both teams were trying to "show-off" each other team's progress but apparently our team looked good ma! They're a bunch of spoilt brats who chose to reach the Yafu Village by the elephant than walking up the 3 click of hilly terrain.

After the session, we broke off for R&R but damn! we couldn't bathe coz the water supply was low so I couldn't wash my hair. Eventually, Evan & I went to XY's house & I fell asleep for only half-an-hour, then Yanwei came & we played 'Bridge'.

Soon, we had to meet at the 'Long-House' for our facilitation session where the rest of the grp shared their 'life-story'. Maresa's story made me breakdown, & also made me realise how fortunate I am. However, I also learnt frm her how to be strong & knows that all she needs is true concern & not sympathy.

After our facilitation session, we went up the hill to watch the sunset. We reached the Japanese hut which the Japanese YEP team, GOOD, built. The view was breathtaking! I saw how beautiful God's creation is & really want to share this sight & experience with my loved ones. No words can describe how beautiful this place is.

Soon we got down the hill as it was getting dark. We reached home for dinner with our host. After dinner, Evan & I went to change into our sleeping gear, & that's when she asked if there was anything wrong between us, if I was angry with her. That's when our long talk started but this talk really helped in the sense that we understood each other more & where both of us (our intentions) are coming frm. The phrase "相处容易，同住难" is really so appropriate man! But this talking session definitely brought us closer. Oh man! She also understands why until now I'm still single & why no one approach me coz she said that when I first meet someone, I dun give them a warm feeling. Haiz! People low EQ ma...jialat! I think I can forget abt finding a bf liao.

Anywayz...that's not the main issue. I feel that we shld treasure the ones ard us, be it friends or family, & treat them as if you're living each day as the last day of your life. You never know when they're gonna leave you, vice versa. Treasure every minute & every second of your life coz every little thing that you do matters to someone & also the little things that someone does for you matters to you too.

Knowing today's a Sunday, means I missed one week of bball playing with the Serangoon people, especially you. Hope you're not bored coz I think you family shld be back frm the holidays. Oh yah! Happy 20th Birthday Runli. Hope you had fun!

The greatest distance between us is eventhough we're sitting right beside each other, you never know how much I love you! (Juz an expression for what I'm feeling now, dun think too much)

P.S. Today's cow dragging incident was horrendous to watch & there's nothing I could do except to stand there & cry. It's very sad to see....

Thought of The Day:

Be a MASTER of your petty annoyances and conserve your energies for the big, worthwhile things. It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out - it's the grain of sand in you shoe.

Robert Service

11th December

Saturday. A very good day today! We worked for a half-day, worked from 9am to 11am only, then prepared to walk down the hill & head to Chiangrai City.

Before reaching Chiangrai City, we stopped at somewhere near Ban Jalae (Yah-leh) for lunch. We had noodles finally! Yeah! No rice! I went for 2 servings & the 2nd serving I had bee-hoon. It tastes so good man! Really good. After that, we headed to Chiangrai City.

At Chiangrai City, we all wanted to have ice-cream & lucky us, there was Swensens! Yoo hoo! But I didnt want to just have ice-cream coz we won't be having dinner back at the Yafu Village. So XY & I went out of Swensens & we saw PIZZA! So we settled down at Pizza with the guys & had yummy pizza & pasta.

After pizza, XY & I went to shop ard before we went into Swensens to have Banana Split. I feel so happy after all these good food, but poor Evan, she had diarrhea & is still feeling lousy. Hope she gets better soon.

After the shopping & eating, it's time we head back to the village. That also meant we have to climb up the hill & climbing up the hill wasn't as bad as the 1st day, partly because we were more prepared for it & also that we sang songs to keep our minds occupied during the climb, thus we cleared the hill faster than expected. So happy! We worked as a team. Yeah!

Oops! Stopped for a moment for a bitching session with some of the gals at XY's place. Hmmm...talked abt Terence (he's improving lah! muz cut him some slack) & talk abt the cute guys in this village. Haha! They're our motivation to work ma! Anyway...I dun need them much, as long as I think abt him; that's gd enough!

Although you may not know how much I miss you & how much I really wanted to call you, I'm just satisfied with the way things are. Maybe not really satisfied, but there's nothing more I can complain about.

Now, just thinking abt what your answer was really made me feel quite sad. I remember the day before I left for this YEP trip, I said that when you ORD next May, I'll nt be in Singapore liao (coz I'll be leaving for the US which I never told you) & you replied, "Good lor!" Hmmm...there was nothing much that I could reply to you so I also said, "Okay! Good...hmm...good". Although I hoped you had saked me where I was going, but by your response, I dun think I really matter. Haha...maybe she matters mare since you "顺便" send her off, at least she has a place in your heart.

Whatever it is, maybe it's high time to just let this feeling fade away....

Thoughts of The Day:

We can do no great things, only small things with great love.

Mother Theresa

He is wise who knows others.

He who knows himself is enlightened.

He is strong who conquers others.

He who conquers himself is mighty.

Tao Te Ching

11th December

Saturday. A very good day today! We worked for a half-day, worked from 9am to 11am only, then prepared to walk down the hill & head to Chiangrai City.

Before reaching Chiangrai City, we stopped at somewhere near Ban Jalae (Yah-leh) for lunch. We had noodles finally! Yeah! No rice! I went for 2 servings & the 2nd serving I had bee-hoon. It tastes so good man! Really good. After that, we headed to Chiangrai City.

At Chiangrai City, we all wanted to have ice-cream & lucky us, there was Swensens! Yoo hoo! But I didnt want to just have ice-cream coz we won't be having dinner back at the Yafu Village. So XY & I went out of Swensens & we saw PIZZA! So we settled down at Pizza with the guys & had yummy pizza & pasta.

After pizza, XY & I went to shop ard before we went into Swensens to have Banana Split. I feel so happy after all these good food, but poor Evan, she had diarrhea & is still feeling lousy. Hope she gets better soon.

After the shopping & eating, it's time we head back to the village. That also meant we have to climb up the hill & climbing up the hill wasn't as bad as the 1st day, partly because we were more prepared for it & also that we sang songs to keep our minds occupied during the climb, thus we cleared the hill faster than expected. So happy! We worked as a team. Yeah!

Oops! Stopped for a moment for a bitching session with some of the gals at XY's place. Hmmm...talked abt Terence (he's improving lah! muz cut him some slack) & talk abt the cute guys in this village. Haha! They're our motivation to work ma! Anyway...I dun need them much, as long as I think abt him; that's gd enough!

Although you may not know how much I miss you & how much I really wanted to call you, I'm just satisfied with the way things are. Maybe not really satisfied, but there's nothing more I can complain about.

Now, just thinking abt what your answer was really made me feel quite sad. I remember the day before I left for this YEP trip, I said that when you ORD next May, I'll nt be in Singapore liao (coz I'll be leaving for the US which I never told you) & you replied, "Good lor!" Hmmm...there was nothing much that I could reply to you so I also said, "Okay! Good...hmm...good". Although I hoped you had saked me where I was going, but by your response, I dun think I really matter. Haha...maybe she matters mare since you "顺便" send her off, at least she has a place in your heart.

Whatever it is, maybe it's high time to just let this feeling fade away....

Thoughts of The Day:

We can do no great things, only small things with great love.

Mother Theresa

He is wise who knows others.

He who knows himself is enlightened.

He is strong who conquers others.

He who conquers himself is mighty.

Tao Te Ching

10th December

What an interesting day today have been. Just before lunch time, some of us were carrying soil down to the work site & suddenly the villagers told us to clear the area where we were working & go in to one of the nearest villager's home. This puzzled me because they said they wanted to clear the way for the cows that were to be sold, thus have to get out of the village, & I only saw 2 tamed cows. It was not until we went to the balcony of one of the house that we saw a fierce cow. It just ran out with a rope through its nostrils & some tied to its legs too. It was fierce man! When I saw it, it was definitely as eye-opener but it made me shivered. When I grabbed onto Ashley, she said that my hands were icy cold. This was definitely the highlight of today.

After that, nothing much happened. What freaked me was that Maresa's head bled coz she hit the bamboo but when I saw her during facilitation session just now, she's fine. I'm really glad she's okay!

During facilitation session today, I shared with the team abr my 'lifestory'. Not much of a life though at this age but I shared with them my JC life with the basketball team & also "the days when I was ill & depressed". It's really gd that I was able to open up.

Now...I suddenly miss home. Really really miss what I have in Singapore. Oh yah! Happy 20th Birthday to you Hsing. Hope you like the prezzy I made for you.

9th December

Today's the 2nd day of work at the site. As usual, we had to carry the construction materials doan. There were straw mats, gravel, sand & bricks to carry down. Although we had to carry such heavy stuff, many agreed that today was less tedious than yesterday. There were also many of us who persevered despite the heavy workload that we had to carry out, this is due to our stubborn nature, or that we dun wanna delay the team's progress due to us resting but I would like to see it as the person's "Never Say Die Attitude". However, everyone shld have their own limits & know when to rest too.

Not to be forgotten would be the "1st impression" session that my sleeping mates & I had. As usual, their "1st impression" of me was - "I'm very serious, anytime I'll just scold them" but soon after, they think I'm as "cock" as them & the 4 of us are called "cocksters 4". Haha...they're very funny & I enjoy their company & being ard them. Oh man! I'm missing people in Singapore. I just can't wait to go home & this is like on the 4th day...HOW?

Although both of us are in two diffferent places, I still wish that under the same stretch of sky, with us looking at it & thinking of each other. Are you? Coz I am.

8th December

Juz came back from XY's place today. We stayed there for about half-an-hour to about 1 hour talking abt stuff. It's really nice to talk like that what we did coz in school, we dun usually have much time to catch up with each other.

Today...going up the hill & dried wheat was really worth it although the job was really tough. All because the view is fantabulous! We saw the Japanese hut that the Japanese YEP had done (looks really beautiful). Today, working with CJ was funny coz I got to know more about him.

Also, I feel that I shld watch my attitude when I work coz I tend to ignore/disregard abt how others feel & that's really bad coz I must learn that different people have differnet attitudes, so to work well with others, I shld try to accomodate & tolerate. This way I can work happily. With regards to our facilitation session tonight, I feel that I know more abt a few people today such as Valerie, Evan, Pheiyi, Yanwei,CJ, & Vivian. I mean these people are so willing to share & are very open abt it...it really takes alot of courage to do this. This is something I shld learn from them.
Okay...have to stop! Shoulders aching, sleep time now.

Thought of The Day:

Sow a thought, reap an action

Sow an action, reap a habit

Sow a habit, reap a character

Sow a character, reap a destiny.

Anonymous

7th December

Today's the 2nd day of our trip & I just reached the Lafu tribe today. Before I reached, I visited the Ban Jalae tribe where they showed us a video about the Yafu Village. Then we proceeded to the waterfall which was a 10-20 min walk away for our lunch. I didn't particularly like lunch there (dun see the rationale behind it).

Anyway, after this lunch thingy, I felt that I complained too much & felt so disgusted by my behaviour after that. So I told myself to be more appreciative with what was planned for us. Then, we had to climd the mountain to the Lafu tribe. It was tedious man! A very steep slope but I didn't mind it as compared to crossing the rocks at the waterfall coz I'm more of a land person than a water person.

Pheiyi almost gave up climbing but Xiaoyu & I encouraged her through it, now come to think of it; I'm so happy that she made it man! She's a tougher gal than I am man!

Upon reaching the tribe, I was surprised because the situation/comdition in this tribe is so much better than what I've expected. THe best of all, the toilets are sturdy with doors despite the water being icy cold. The food they cooked was good too. However, I still miss home. Wanted to call home but no phone to borrow & also, I thought abt him today. I want so much to tell him how much I miss him, but anyway...

Oh yah! It's really beautiful out there at night. Looking up at the sky, seeing the stars (it's very very clear) makes me feel good & happy & it also reminded me abt that night where zhe & I juz lie at the fitness corner, looking at the stars & listening to him talk.

That's all for tonight! Tomorrow's the 1st day we start work at the site. Exciting!

Thought of The Day:

I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good thing, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to anyone let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.

Anonymous

6th December

Hey peeps! I'll be blogging my journal for my YEP trip. Enjoy!!!

Now I am at MAG (Mirror Art Group) preparing to sleep. It's kinda cold here but I expect the temperature to drop further when we're up at the Yafu Village.

Anyway...today I've been quite quiet. I feel like I'm hibernating, always feeling tired. Maybe my energy have been used in missing Singapore, missing grandma, mum, my family lor! Also, I miss him. I'm kinda sad that he didn't see me off although he didn't promise to appear, but I wanna see him.

But whatever it is, Charlene Su, you must overcome your fears during this trip, make the best out of your present situation & work your best k?

Lord! I pray for our team to be safe & healthy. Give us the strength to overcome all obstacles that comes in our way. Thank you for greeting us a safe journey from Singapore to Chiangrai. May the days ahead be enriching & fulfiling Lord. In Jesus most precious name, Amen.

Thought of The Day:

Writing is thinking. It is more than living, for it is being conscious of living.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Why Am I Feeling This Way?

Hmmmm...juz came back after posting Hsing's prezzy at Danny's letterbox Hope Hsing will like it. Yupz! Zhe acccompanied me to his place. Throughout the journey, we're both very quiet. I didn't wanna talk much, juz wanted to feel his presence. It's a very nice feeling to be with him. Once in a while amidst the silence, he would tell me when he'll be booking in, or booking out, for wat reason and etc...It's really nice listening to him.

At times I really wanted to talk to him, whether it's asking him or telling him...I juz didn't pluck up that enough courage to do so...like what Liying said - I might be running away. Haha...whatever lah! Anyway, this morning while playing ball with him, I thought I heard him say he wanted to send me off, but I kinda not bother abt that qn & he didn't persist so....haha. I think he isn't sending me off anyway...

I'll take care & will be back to see you, my friends!

Missing You Guys Already!!!

I'll be flying off tomorrow morning and won't be seeing you guys for the next 19 days. You know what? I'm missing you guys already!

PL clique: Make the best of this hols. Pls dun be too upset if your grades arn't fantastic coz we can & always will try harder. Meet up often amongst yourselves k? Get updates on each other, be there for each other whenever anyone is down k? Dun lose touch...I'll be back in no time :)

SR Bball Team: Hope you guys start your training soon, wanna join you guys man! I will miss playing bball with you ppl...meet up with each other, catch up & play hard during this hols man! We're gonna need it!

Serangoon peeps: Will definitely definitely miss playing with you all....my weekly Sunday dosage of bball playing will be missed greatly!!! Let's meet up after I'm back k?

Love you guys!!!

MisUnderstood!?!?!?!

I'm misunderstood again by you. Why is that so? Did I again say something you dun like to hear, listen or see? I didn't want you to see me off coz if you said you'll appear, I'll expect you to be there, if nt I'll be disappointed. In actual fact, I hate being disappointed - be it from you or from others. I purely want you to rest & intend to meet up with you after I'm back. Why can't you juz understand that point? Frankly speaking...I'm over the phase where I'll get disappointed when you dun appear...it's really sad if I really say this out coz I dun expect anything from you as a friend (or are we even?) Maybe it's my fault if I dun cherish you as much as the rest, or is it coz GoD is telling me to juz let time heal this friendship? I dun expect anything from you anymore, or are you expecting anything from me?

Watever it is...each of us have our own life to live. I will always put in effort in this friendship...always will be there for you as a sister when you nd me. I'm always a call away whenever you nd me. All I want for you is to be REALLY happy with your decisions, have NO regrets and ALWAYS 幸福. From the bottom of my heart, I wish you well.

I know you're back with him, but dun forget abt HIM. Give your Sunday mornings to HIM. Praise HIM, Worship HIM...never NEVER forsake HIM coz He'll never forsake us k?

Dear Lord Jesus, I pray for my friends that they'll be blessed with your love coz your love for us is our joy. I wish them good health, happiness and a fulfilling holiday. I pray for our friendship to go on strong with each persons' understanding and acceptance. Thank you for them Lord! In Jesus most precious name I pray, Amen.

I'm Back From SMU's Basketball Camp

I'm really glad I went for the camp & went with an open-mind & open-heart. It isn't easy because I felt inferior to this team. I'm insecure that's why I didn't wanna interact with them. However, after this 3-days 2-nights camp, I learnt something about my game & the way I play. I really am slow, not alert but I wanna improve, really wanna improve my game. I'm very determined to do this and get into this team & play the IVP with them...I'm beginning to love this team. I really do! Thank you for taking your time to observe my game & giving pointers to better my game, thank you for being frank & say that I wasn't alert & lousy in my defence. I really dun mind you being frank & am glad you did & helped me instead. Thank you to everyone who attended the camp, it's been a great learning experience for me.

Liying....thank you for remembering me in your blog before you flew off. I will take care in Thailand.

Maybe you're right to say that the best thing to do is not doing anything. You're also right to say that but not doing anyting, I'll regret. I know I'll regret but I'm afraid of doing anything so all I choose to do now is to run away...you might think I'm running in circles, maybe I am. But what can I say to him? Would he even care?
I dun wanna have regrets but in this situation I'm really lost!!! I can't find that courage that I usually have...I'm really stupid to be in this situation when I know I'll feel the misery :s

So I've decided...Charlene.....your responsibility now is to prepare for the Thailand trip, focus on training for IVP, be disciplined to improve my fitness & also to concentrate on your studies from next sem onwards.

Lord....Thank you for giving the courage to change my attitude towards the SMU's basketball team as this have helped me...I pray that you'll continue to guide me & be more positive towards anything I face in future. I'm prepared for you take the lead & be my shepherd. In you most loving name, Amen!